Too many words lately…
Writing is exhausting, although it doesn’t seem like it should be this hard.
For me it is in general easier to describe something other than myself, but it is agonizing to describe my own state of mind. I have to chastise my soul every time to beat something honest, accurate and coherent out of the key board. Words are not the most efficient means of communication in terms of human emotions, for me, for sure.
They say "a picture is worth a thousand words".
I guess that’s why I fell in love with photography, when I was a lonely undergrad in Princeton. I used to have a large online photo gallery of my personal photography. It was my most important, if not sole, way of expressing, confessing, venting, creating, recording, and contemplating, the many trivial or non-trivial events, happiness, sadness, secrets, weird thoughts… of my life. The gallery didn’t last long after I moved to Caltech. I guess that’s because I have found easier channels of communication here, which diminished the need of my college sweetheart, my camera.
I happened to find a live human being to vent, complain and tell silly jokes to, punch, bite and bully; someone who lets me stick freezing hands in his neck to get warm; someone who knows it before I say it. The directness and physical nature of this kind of communications is wonderful and ADDICTIVE.
I would say, "A hug is worth a thousand pictures, and thus 106 words".
Nevertheless, very soon, I will have to resort back to communication channels of much lower data rate and higher distortion: camera, diary, phone, and whatever (in the order of preference). I dislike speaking on the phone.
Ought to get back to my communications homework now…